S. came in the other day, sinking into the chair and breaking into tears. "I can't do this any more. What's the point. Everything is a struggle for me. Life is unfair and hard. Nobody loves me. What the hell is wrong with me?" Every day she comes home from work, exhausted, tired, empty. A bottle of wine might just give me that ease now. She gets up every day and she meditates every morning. That gives her a little boost in mood. It will all be alright today. I am good enough, I can do it. She puts on her make up and goes to work. But by noon the mood has shifted. She is drowning in work, the boss was being really disrespectful, again, colleagues are pestering her. "I am sure, they are talking about me behind my back. I can see it in their faces, the way they look at me, the way they ignore me. It is all full of judgment." The whole atmosphere is toxic. She is running from A to B and back. She is serving everyone, says yes to everything, forcefully laughing about a joke, that wasn't funny at all, but yeah, I am part of the team, right? I want to be liked and therefore I need to please everyone. Inside she just wants to cry and hide, escaping on an island, finding peace. Is that my life? Is that me? I cannot find joy in anything at all. We cannot control life. We cannot control other people. The only thing there is we have control of is us. The way we respond to negativity, the way we treat ourselves, the way we talk to ourselves, the boundaries we set.
So many people are so damn hard on themselves. Nobody else would ever be around you for long, if you would treat him like you treat yourself. They would run, if you would insult them, like you insult yourself. They would ghost you for all those expectations you set, like the ones you set on yourself. And you would be left alone. And it seems like part of you has already resigned and left.
Couldn't take any more of that pressure you set. Went away, hides on an island. That part of you, that makes you see and feel joy. That part of you that is fun to be around and playful. That part of you that laughs out loud, when something silly happens. That part of you that loves to sing and dance, when no one else can see it. That part of you, that keeps you alive and that loves you for who you are. What can you do? - Observe the way you talk to yourself. Stop belittleing you and tearing your own heart out. - Ask yourself, when EVERYTHING and EVERYONE is dark and black and unkind, if that is REALLY the case. - Open your focus and put a little effort into seeing all the things that do go well. Remember people who ARE kind to you. - Take a distance from the world as being only black and white and sprinkle a bit of color here and there. Be the one the sprinkleing it! You are in Control! And if you need a helping hand along the way, book your first free 45-minute consultation with me to get started.