Some time ago I had an interesting experience. In training we were invited to enter a state we would like to experience more often in certain situations.
In my mind I went for feeling confident and strong.
So I did, what I thought I needed to do in order to feel strong and confident. Shoulders back, I held my head high and performed a strong walk, or what I considered to be a strong walk.
Well, it was indeed a strenghtening experience, yet I felt something missing.
Was this exactly what I wanted? Did it make me feel confident, the way I want to feel confident?
After a few rounds of walking "strong", going inwards and thinking along the way, I stopped and made a pause. What is it really, that makes me feel confident and good about myself? And I remembered moments, where I felt exactly like that. And it had nothing to do with high heads and a decisive catwalk. It was more quiet, calm, invisible.
I took some deep breaths and just stood there, slowly releasing the tension in my face and body. And then I started walking again. Easy and naturally, just walking and I didn't think much about it. And with every step I noticed, how I entered more and more my inner calm, my balance, myself.
And this made me feel good. I was in the "FLOW". In my very personal flow, where I felt I just AM. I didn't think about, what the others around think of me, I didn't care, if I appeared strong and confident from the outside, I couldn't worry less about, what I am doing and where I am going.
And that was IT. The true inner strength and confidence arises, when you find your flow. And it might be different for everybody out there and that's great. Yet, when you find yourself doing something, that really matters to you and you love doing it, forgetting all the things around you and just ARE, you naturally have it.
When your focus is not on your environment and how people around you might perceive you or not, but inwards, internal, just on you and the thing you are PRESENTLY doing with all your attention and passion, you find your flow. And when you are in your flow, you are at your BEST and most beautiful.
There are no nagging negative thoughts about the past or the uncertainties of the future. No internal judgement, no worries about you being smart or cool or funny or not good enough. You just take the moment in and fully embrace the present. Your whole body language adapts to that wonderful feeling of just being there and enjoying. And this it what strength and confidence really represents in its essence. This is what makes people charismatic and shine, at least for me.
Remember those moments of your own flow. It might have been just about you, sunk in a daydream, gardening, creating or just sitting somewhere in peace. It might have been on a night out with your loved ones, where you just enjoyed yourself and your company. It might have been you taking a relaxing bath, looking at the sky or feeling the sun on your skin for the first time of year.
Did it make you feel strong and confident? Did you even have to think about it or were you just fully there?
You can recreate those moments consciously and whenever you want and need. Take a step back from the busy life, close your eyes, take some deep breaths, remember how it felt like, remember what you saw and what you heard, when you fully experienced the lightness of your flow-state, access that fully with your body and mind and just start walking.