“I am stuck. I really don’t know what to do.”
We all experience times in our lifes where we think, we are getting nowhere with how things are at the moment. Those times can feel horrible and can suck all energy out of us. We get stressed and anxious, restless, hopeless. We can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. All is blocked and we don't see a way out.
Those times of apparent dead end, as paralyzing as it can feel, are actually a hint for us. We have the power to turn this negative feeling into a constructive way of taking back our responsibility. We are no victims to life, life doesn't only happen to us, we have the capacity to make life happen for us.
But how can we push this fog out of our way?
A first step is to realize, that the more you try to push, the more you put pressure on yourself, the less you will be able to think clear.
Ask yourself: Is it true, that I AM stuck? Or is it more of a haunting feeling? Yes, it can be overwhelming and blind us to the point, where we might think, we ARE stuck and we align everything that happens to that perception. And then we are right. Yet it is only a perception, still.
Remember times, where you didn't feel stuck. Where you felt on top of the world, good about your life and yourself. Did the world look different to you? Did you and your life look different to yourself? What has changed? How were you different? The world is still being the world, it just is. Yet did you perceive this place as a place of opportunities, friendly people, sunshine? Realizing your feelings and thoughts are not facts, is important to reopen your mind.
Take this period of time as what it is, a period. A good opportunity to re-evaluate your life and yourself, remembering what you really value the most and how you can move closer to achieve inner balance and freedom. You will experience, by accepting this time of struggle as a space for yourself to take a break and explore different approaches, the pressure begins to shift into release.
Get all the „must do's“ and „should do's“ out of the way. Use a vocabulary, that gives your mind more choice. „I could“, „I can“, „I want to“, „I will“ allows possibilities and creates choice. It is an empowering way to talk to yourself and already by exchanging absolutisms with options can lift some of the fog in your head.
When I find myself feeling stuck and I let go of the pressure, that things HAVE TO be different, it is easier to accept those times. I have been there before, I know those times are temporary and I can allow myself to slow down. I take time for myself, do something else, distract myself or I might even do nothing.
Take time off and become quiet. No need to entertain your negative thoughts for now. Let them be.
Do something you know you like. Watch a movie, take a walk around the block, just lie down and breathe, feel, cry, scream, it's all fine. Care for yourself, treat yourself with something nice, redecorate something in your apartment, indulge in „guilty pleasures“.
Make an inventory of your life. It can help you to move from a one way street onto a new cross road. Useful questions you may ask yourself can be:
Where am I now?
Where do I want to be?
What do I have already?
What do I need?
Where is my time and energy going to instead?
What can I influence?
What can I do differently?
What do I enjoy doing?
Set Mini-goals and go Mini-steps first
The emphasis here is on „Mini“. Don't overdo it. When you gained a bit of an overview with the questions mentioned before, create tiny steps, achievable steps for you to move forward. Think from a mindset of „What am I moving towards?“ instead of „What am I moving away from?“ Focus on what you can change around you and leave the things you cannot change. The step you are doing right now is the only one that matters. You are doing the best you can in that very moment. See, what happens, discover. Take a different way from work to home and vice versa. Smile at strangers. Do something for the first time. Talk to someone.
Notice how you are already un-stucking yourself, how the fog begins to clear and some light shines through. Become aware of all those little things that seem to look different from before and embrace your own power to be able to create different perspectives and choices for yourself again.