In a fast paced world, a perfectionist society, where nothing and no one seems to be just good enough as they are and need to be optimized, fine tuned, better, faster, more beautiful, more thin and toned, louder and more successful, it appears to me, that in order to function properly and to be an accepted member of society we need to flatten our emotional and behavioral range.
Everything that smells "negative" needs to be deleted and overcome. There is no time for reflection and stillness, no time for insecurities, no place for negative thoughts, no need for normal human emotions like anger, sadness, frustration.
We better think positive all the time about everything, feeding ourselves with affirmations we don't really believe in and take one action after the other in order to manifest something to finally become fulfilled and happy. We constantly pursue happiness as a goal. A goal that needs to be achieved, something one has to arrive to and be rewarded with, the holy grail.
And if we then still experience moments of anxiety and loneliness, feeling low and we can't seem to find our place in this world, we just "don't want it enough" and that is all our own fault. We end up punishing ourselves for not being able to think and feel positive and happy all the time and miss out on those moments, that actually fulfill us and make us shine along the way.
So we keep on hunting the easiest and fastest steps to take, the map that shows us the way, the quick fix, hungry for arriving at what we really want. I doubt this helps anyone to feel better about themselves in the long run.
I encourage you to take a step back and slow down. What is happiness for you? And how do you know you have it? Could you detect, what makes you really happy, if you never felt sadness and frustration? How would you know you found, what you want without deeply experiencing things you didn't want, as well? How do you know who you are and how you want to be, in a fog of fake breakthroughs, that just pass into nowhere in your daily life?
“Happiness is not a goal…it’s a by-product of a life well lived.”
I am a firm believer in the richness of human emotions and experiences. They all have their place in our hearts, whether it be joy, lightness, a sense of happiness or low times, dark thoughts, insecurities and fear. We are not one dimensional creatures, we have a lot more to offer than a permanent smile. But nowadays it seems out of fashion to feel weak in any way.
Not everything that doesn't look like a fancy advertising needs to be deleted and dissolved. Life is all about experiencing good and bad times, moods and feelings, the full colored range of what a human life can offer. Those are the things that create learnings and growings, the ability to fully enjoy the beautiful moments on one side and helping us to become stronger and more resilient in harder times on the other side.
Acknowledgement and acceptance of life being more than unicorns and sunshine, more than growing successes, deeper than simple roadmaps to a happy, non-stop active and functional facade is essential for understanding what it is, that really makes us feel delighted, fulfilled, thrive and sparkle.
I do believe, accepting yourself for who you are in that certain moment in time, feeling, you do your best to be human and taking full responsability for it, is offering much more depth in life in the long run, than running around and searching for the fastest salvation from the outside. Allow yourself to feel light as well as dark from time to time.
Taking time for small things, taking time for reflection, silence and stillness is part of life as well as excitement. Being compassionate and respectful to yourself not only when things run smoothly and easy, but also when you feel weak, make mistakes, when you are lazy or down, when you feel angry, shy, lonely or anxious. It brings you closer to yourself and who you will become. It all is part of growth, your true potential and your inner wisdom. Your real power starts with seeing that, acknowledging your ups AND downs and allowing it being part of life, learning your lessons on the way and being yourself in every moment, true and genuine.
Showing up in the world with a wide range of emotions, behaviors and experiences makes us a colorful personality, just as a rainbow needs the sun and the rain to surprise us every time again with this amazingly beautiful appearance.
*When the dark times take over and you suffer over a longer period of time I do strongly recommend and encourage you to look for help and support from friends, family and professionals in times of crisis. No one is alone and has to go through strong emotional pain on his own!